What There Is To Know

A Girl With Tattoos

Cinco De Mayo (2)

(Photo taken: May 5, 2017)

This is me. I currently have three tattoos. Two of them I recently had done, a little over a week to be exact.  When I began thinking of what I wanted, I knew I wanted something meaningful and something that was elegant. A way to share my story with people who would ask me about them. I didn’t get the recent tattoos out of rebellion, I got them after years of prayer and careful thought. It’s something I felt I needed to do. (Everyone is different.)

  1. I got my star, (the small one on my wrist bone) about nine years ago. I had just turned 21. It was during a time in my life when I thought I was “in love” with a guy. I moved from California all the way to Wichita, Kansas. The star represents a time in my life when I encountered so many things, yet didn’t fall into their temptation. I was surrounded by different drugs, different kinds of people, but I didn’t get sucked into that kind of life style. There was a time in my life when I thought I was never coming back home. I felt stuck, I felt hopeless and so desperate. Life in Wichita was not one that I was promised. I remember a time when I was feeling so depressed, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a coffee mug, smashed it on the floor and picked up a piece only to start cutting. It was a very dark time in my life. We were homeless (living in a motel)I had no money. I had experienced my first laced joint and I felt like I was going to die. I just wanted to come home, and I did. The star reminds me, if God helped me over come all that I went through in Kansas, I can over come anything. I have been.
  2. The cross on my forearm, there’s so much to say about this one. It represents my relationship with Jesus. So many people will criticize and judge. When I was younger I suffered from depression, low self-esteem, no confidence, etc. I felt worthless. To help ease all that I felt and was going through I began cutting. Though I wasn’t cutting anymore when I gave my life to Him, I still lacked self-esteem, self-worth, identity and love. I was broken, I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. It had left me depressed and on the verge of becoming an alcoholic. The cross represents freedom. It is placed on the arm that suffered from those emotions, it’s the arm that I used to cut. The cross represents a new life. A life that has been set free, healed, restored and made new. I have been transformed into a new person. A stronger one.
  3. The infinity tattoo with the feather and birds. My favorite one. It represents the new me. Set free, no long held back by the past. It has taken so much and has been so hard to finally let go of the past and everything I have gone through, and let it be used to reach out to others. I used to be ashamed by what has happened to me, or what those experiences had led me to do. Not anymore.  Like a bird is meant to soar beyond a cage, so is a child of God. It represents that I am forever free by what was done on the cross, for me.

I am a lover of Jesus. I serve in my congregation, along with my husband. I desire to be used by God. I fail everyday, because I am human, proof that I need Him. Having tattoos does not change that. It doesn’t mean that I am no longer a child of God, nor does it mean that I cannot be used by Him. It simply means that I have different ways of expressing myself. I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father.  God still loves me, as well as everyone else with tattoos. As I mentioned above, I didn’t get these done with a rebellious heart. I felt peace, my husband did too. I waited over six years until the day came when I was able to get my new tattoos. It might not be the same for everyone.

God’s time is always the best time. ❤ My tattoos were a gift that I didn’t expect. (I didn’t have to pay for them.) 😉

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s