His Faithfulness

Father, time after time I have seen your unfailing love in my life. Moment after moment, where everything inside me rebeled against your will for my life, your faithfulness remained. I kicked and screamed, demanding my own ways, but You, the one who knows all things  never gave into my fleshly tantrums. I can see clearly now. I can see how good you’ve been and continue to be with me. Though my heart still screams for what the flesh wants, I know it wasn’t for me. I need you, I can’t do this without you. Your faithfulness, you made real to me in more than one way. It was your love for me that kept me from falling into the pit. Your mercy that kept me from ending up alone. Thank you Father, for you know what I need. Your ways are not mine, and your thoughts are not my own. You are my Father, I am our daughter. I have wandered away, thinking that I alone could provide myself with what I needed. I looked in all the wrong places, needed all the wrong people. I kept my heart from needing you, but you made it a point to reach out to me through your servants. You have recaptured my heart, my attention is yours. Guide me, show me, lead me. Forgive my pride and my arrogance. Forgive me for thinking that I knew what was better for me, than you did. My heart is filled with gratitude for how much you love me. -…Heart Of Grace

“You’ve never failed me, yet.”-Elevation Worship

These past few weeks, all I can say have been a learning experience. I have wandered away from God, I have drawn closer, I have been discouraged, and I have been motivated. My emotions have taken a beating, but the one thing that has remained stable and so constant is, God’s faithfulness.

Time after time He has shown me how faithful He is. He’s been there for me when all I wanted to do was walk away from him, to do my own thing; to walk down a dark path where all my fleshly desires would have been fulfilled. For at that time, I didn’t stop to think about all the consequences that I would have faced at the end of that road.

He sees all things, He sees the future. He knows what is to come… because of that He stopped me. I was running into His mighty hand. While He was pushing me back, protecting me from the pit I was about to fall into, I, on the other side was pushing, fighting trying to move forward with my own plans.

“We will never over power God. Though He is a gentleman and allows us our freewill, He is also a parent who will not allow their children to fall.”-Stephanie

I have experienced this first hand, time and time again. These past few weeks, I have seen His faithfulness more clearly. It’s been a powerful revelation for my life. My eyes were opened, to see what I have. To see the good things; relationships, friendships, my husband… the one who’s been there for me through all of this. Though I made mistakes, he still remains by my side. I see God’s faithfulness through my husband’s love for me.

How can I not acknowledge God for all of this? I know He loves me. I know He has great things for me. I see it so clear, now.

“I am pleased because you have chosen to hear my voice. I am pleased because you have decided to obey me. A glorious door is about to be opened, one that you didn’t imagine would be so close to opening.”-God

I have chosen to listen to my Father’s voice, over my own desires. I have chosen to obey my Father, rather than seek out my own plans.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.-John 10:27

Yes, it’s still hard to let go of what the flesh wants, but I know it’s for the best that I do. I am doing my best to let go. Some days are easier than others, but like a plant that withers and dies without food, so will these temptations, these fleshly desires. I have not given into them, so soon they will just wither and die.

God is greater, His faithfulness is true.

What He’s done before, He will do again, again and again.

 

Encouragement:

Understand, therefore, that the LORD your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.- Deuteronomy 7:9

 

 

Do It Again-Elevation Worship

Walking around these walls
I thought by now they’d fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle’s won
For You have never failed me yet

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You’ve never failed me yet

I know the night won’t last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You’re still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again

I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again

I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again

I’ll see You do it again
Oh-oh

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

And You never failed me yet
I never will forget
You never failed me yet
And I never will forget

Lesson Learned

For the past few months I have been on a journey to better my life, my health. Last night I shared the lesson I received from an unexpected place. Lately I have been struggling with the fact that I have been stuck at only 20lbs lost. I realized I was depending more on my scale, and I wasn’t celebrating the accomplishment as I should have been. A day ago I went to grab ice for my ((beloved)) iced coffee.. lol I grabbed the bag of ice from the freezer. I realized it was super heavy and without hesitation I went to look to see what size the bag was. Sure enough it was 20lbs!

It was in that moment it dawned on me, I had that weight on me! It changed my mentality completely and how I see weight loss. To think that I have already lost that much weight is enough for me to begin being grateful, rather than getting discouraged because the scale doesn’t say what I would like it to.

I shared the video (At the bottom) as a form of motivation for women, but I believe it can bless men as well. You know, sometimes we fail to see the small achievements as something to be celebrated. It’s a small step towards your goals, your dreams. Think of it like this, you’re no longer in the same place… you’re progressing. That’s always something to celebrate. (Whether it’s losing weight, career goals, or whatever it is.) 

I have come a long way since I first began. (Photo: When I first began, and yesterday)

progressLooking at these two side by side, I now see how 20lbs is a HUGE deal!

loss.jpg

 

EMPOWERMENT

Last night I was not feeling like working out. I was feeling so lazy. I was feeling discouraged. I was feeling emotional. I also had thoughts saying, “go ahead a skip the day, you need it.” I was tempted to just stay in bed. Instead I got up and got my workout done. I pushed through the funk I was in and got it done. It was much needed, my mind was refreshed and I just felt so much better.

I have realized that exercise isn’t a form of punishment, but a form of love for my body. It helps me keep a clear mind, it strengthens me and it helps me remain healthier. I like a quote that says;

“I workout because I love my body, not because I hate it.”

I have said this before, when you love something you do anything you can to take care of it, the body is no different. Since I have learned to love my body, in whatever shape it may be in, I realized that it’s working with me and the workouts to get it into the shape its needs to be in. I am far happier now, than the person in the photo taken on, “March 12th.”

 

empowerment“Nothing can rob me of this drive I now have. There’s nothing that can come between me and this love I now have for myself, for my body. I am much stronger now; physically, mentally and emotionally than I have been in a really long time. I am determined. No one can take that away from me.”- Stephanie Ann

 

A MESSAGE FOR YOU ❤

((I made this video to share with my friends on Instagram, but I wanted to share it with everyone, not just women, but men as well!))

 

 

Torn Between Two

Torn between two roads, one good and the other a reality. I stand before both paths and one calls out more to me than the other. Time after time I have tried to accept what is, but still, I fail to do so. My heart yearns for more. Emotions raging inside, an excitement I never had before. Something is different I tell myself, but I do not know what it is. I have encountered a part of me from the past. A part I realized was special.  The memories, the experiences… maybe it’s just too good to be true. Deep down inside, I hope it’s true. Am I afraid? Yes, I am. Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear that it’s only a manifestation of what I have truly desired and nothing more. They say, “Only time will tell,” we will see. -…Heart Of Grace

Inspired by true events.

((A venting post))

I know so many struggle with these kinds of things. Finding yourself at a crossroad can be scary and very overwhelming, especially when you’re not really sure which road to take. So many times the answer is simple, but it’s our mind that begins to confuse and twists things around, causing us to over analyze and overthink things. That’s when we lose sight of the correct path to take.

What I have learned is, the choice you have most peace about is the correct one.

Emotions rage, fear kicks in because we aren’t able to see the full picture until we actually take that first step. The unknown scares me, to be honest. That’s where my faith has to grow.

No matter the situation, God turns the things around for good, placing you back on the path you’re meant to be on. I must learn to walk. I must learn to make my own decisions, not worrying about what others may thing or what they will say.

The day we begin to worry about what other’s opinions are is the day we remain stuck and miserable. -Stephanie Ann

Trust that He is guiding you and leading you. Trust that the road placed before you, will only lead to greater things. Leave the fear behind, leave the worry behind, leave the cares of what people will say or think behind and simply take that step forward.

Change is inevitable, in learning to embrace it, you will experience freedom.

Forever Free

Life takes many shapes. Fears mold us into things we are not, fitting in, hiding who we are. On the outside we appear to be something, that our hearts know we’re not. Who can save us, who can set us free? His name is Jesus. Who’s identity leads us to break free, exposing who we’re meant to be.  Forever Free. 

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Poem written by Stephanie Ann Pequeno

February 11, 2015

Confirmation For This Season

“Limit Lines”

“We form our own ‘limit line’ by the fears & insecurities we believe, but God is on the other side cheering us on, to take a tiny step of faith over to the other side.”-Stephanie
So many times, my mind flows with great ideas, the excitement comes I become determined. But all of a sudden these thoughts in my head asking me “How will you make it happen? How will you do it,” Cause me to take a step back and look at the “reality.” I then begin to wonder and in my own strength, try to figure out how I will get it done. It just seems so impossible… I  back down,  discourage I become. Another idea lost or just put on hold.
It wasn’t until something clicked inside me and led me to speak these words out loud, “It’s not me who will do it, it’s not me who will figure it out, but God.”
It snapped me out of a lie that had taken root in my mind and leading to my heart. I felt a sense of confidence and relief, because it was true, that truth had lifted up a burden off me trying to figure things out on my own, that weight was the plan of the enemy to keep me stuck. All the fear had been removed.
Nothing is impossible for God, but our minds should be focused on Him and the truth of His word, that we can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.
I say this to you,  you will overcome. Turn your ears to the voice of God, be attentive to His guidance, and the way you should go will lead you to success and accomplish what you’ve set out to do…

The post above was written over two years ago, May 15, 2015. It is a confirmation for the season I am in right now. It is time… it is time.

There is nothing that will stop me, for I have tapped into who I am in Christ. That’s power. For there is nothing that can stop a Child of God that has figured out who they truly are in Christ. ❤

Loneliness, Just A Word

“I sit here, alone. It never fails, though I am surrounded by people loneliness seems to find me. It whispers in my ear, “I want you.” It’s ever seductive voice captures my attention, I follow. Alluring me into a dark place, filled with temptations, I surrender my will. I sit there with loneliness. My mind begins to fill itself up with how things would be in different circumstances. I look around and see what is there, but yet something inside remains empty. Nothing that is seen can satisfy what my heart desires. I struggle to find the peace that sets me free. I struggle to see what I am meant to see. Loneliness blinds me. There is a giant gap between me and them. For loneliness has placed pain within when I think about becoming vulnerable and opening up. How I want to break free. How I want to fight back. “-…Heart of Grace

These past few days have been the worst. Lack of desire, motivation to do anything. All I want to do is stay in bed. I’ve been feeling alone, I have been feeling just isolated. I’ve been here before, I know what it feels like, I don’t like it. At all…

Through all this only one word comes to mind, loneliness. I always feel this way when I start depending on people to fill that void I have. The very void that only Jesus can fill. I have been looking to the wrong people, the wrong things for that satisfaction. Looking for a new “excitement” has only left me feeling drained and so exhausted. I need Him. I really do.

Loneliness is a real thing. Many people struggle with it. It’s a dark place that many do not escape from. It’s a place that lies seem like truths, a place where lies become their realities. A place that paints a false picture, only catering to ones feelings they are already carrying inside. How do I know? I have been there. I once believed that no one loved me. I once believed that I was never good enough. I once believed that people would be better off if I was dead. These are all pictures loneliness paints, to enhance the insecurities, to enhance the lies, to enhance the feelings.

There are days when all I wanna do is cry. That takes strength. There are days when I confess to someone what I am feeling inside. That takes strength. There are days when I push through and tell loneliness to get behind me. That takes strength.

When you feel the need to hold back your tears, because you don’t want others to see you cry, that is weakness. When you want to hide everything that is wrong because you’re afraid of what they may think or say, that is weakness. When you sit back and do nothing about how you’re feeling and allow it to control your life, that is weakness.

For it takes a stronger person to shed tears, admit there is a problem, ask for help and fight back. -Stephanie

Then, loneliness becomes just a word and no longer a reality. ❤

I Am Not Alone

When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I’m standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me

In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear

You amaze me
Redeem me
You call me as Your own

You’re my strength
You’re my defender
You’re my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You’ve always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul

A Slip In My Step

I begin moving forward, in your ways. With every step that I take there is a slip. I stumble, I just want to let myself fall. But there is a whisper in my ear telling me I am stronger. I regain my balance and continue forward. People close to me, being used to hurt me and get me to stumble all over again. I have been here before, my mind shows me. I have experience, I know what it looks like; when I am being distracted, when I’m being tempted to fall back into that lonely cave of anger, of isolation. “I won’t do it. I will not shrink back. I will not be intimidated!” I exclaim at my enemy. I dust myself off, forgiveness I make my heart release. It’s not for them, it’s for me. I am set free. I take a look around me, and I just keep forward. I am not alone, He is there.

Written by: Stephanie A. H.

Inspired by recent events.

No Longer Isolated

There are days, like today, that I find myself struggling to hold on to you. I am overwhelmed with so many emotions. I feel sadness, I feel alone, I feel like I am slipping away. In the morning I rose, in my heart a song. My heart, my soul could not rest until I played it, and again. My many mistakes cause me to push myself further away from you. Though you constantly remind me of your unfailing love and amazing grace, I still feel ashamed. Distorting the image of how you see me, I start to feel unworthy. I just fall on my knees, in surrender. My heart cries out to you, ‘I need you.’- …Heart of Grace

It is one of those days, where I wake up and a certain song is playing in my mind. I cannot rest, or I do not feel right unless I listen to it. I have learned that it’s God’s way of comforting me, or simply reminding me that He is thinking of me and wants me to acknowledge Him.

The days have seemed so long. It seems like, as the days go by, further away I become. So many things happening, life is happening. Struggles occur, but the last thing I do is run to the one who can bring me peace.

Ever done something that leaves you feeling so unworthy, ashamed, making you want to hide?

I have, many times. I beat myself up about it for awhile. I try to “hide” from God,  I try to isolate myself from everybody. I am afraid of them seeing me in my error. As though they might “judge” me or think less of me.

When an enemy desires to strike you down, they will always try to catch you alone, not when you’re surrounded by people who love you. So what better way to do that, than with isolation. -Stephanie

I have been here before, in a place of isolation, surrounded by a wall that I, myself have built up. I thought it was my way of protecting myself, but then I realized it was actually locking me inside, alone with the one that torments, the one that strikes the mind with lies.

Isolation is never a good thing. While we think we are trying to protect ourselves, what we are actually doing is making ourselves even more vulnerable to what is already tormenting us; shame, guilt, depression, sadness…etc. Those are enemies, the very things that try to catch us alone. I have struggled for years with these, and it wasn’t until I realized what I was doing that I broke free from those walls of isolation.

I realized there was a God who loved me regardless of what I have done. There were people there for me, who saw me for me, not the things I have done. That’s the power of love. Real love.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.-Ecclesiastes 4:12

If you struggle with isolation, please know that you’re not alone. There are people who understand what you’re going through, people who have been where you are. There is a God who sees all and knows your deepest cries, who has seen ever single tear. He extends his hand to lift you up, out of those walls of isolation.

You are courageous. You are brave. You are loved. You are more than what you feel, or think. You’re beautiful. You are cherished. You are a warrior.

Remember that, the next time the enemy tries to isolate you. It cannot mess with someone who knows who they are and what they are capable of. – Stephanie ❤