There are no words that can express what I feel inside the moment my lips begin to sing out to You. In the times of trouble, in the times I feel weak, singing love songs to You, makes way for freedom. I sing to you, not only when things are good and well, I sing to you when things are hard and all I want to do is fall, because in my praise and worship I find strength. In that moment of intimacy with You, I find rest. I find who I am and I can clearly see who You are, again. When words are few, the Spirit takes over, a joyous noise births forth. I cannot contain it. There is freedom. There is joy. There is life, in my worship to You.
When No Words Come Forward
These past few days have been such a struggle; emotionally, physically and mentally. There have been moments when my words wouldn’t come out, my mind so distracted and congested with insecurities.
I had it in my mind to skip on service and just stay home, but I didn’t let my feeling dictate my actions; so I went regardless of how I was feeling.
Last night during worship, I sang with so much freedom. It was the first time in a long time. When my words were few, the Spirit birthed forth a joyous noise that I couldn’t contain. Tears fell from my eyes and all I could feel was His embrace and comfort. I felt free, I felt stronger… In that moment, I wasn’t worried about anything, my heart was fully on Him.
I have truly missed that. Spontaneous worship; singing.
Letting Go Of Those Things That Hurt You
“When something has been planted so deep within you, placing down roots, it becomes difficult and can hurt so much when it’s being pulled out of you.”-Stephanie
These days have been just that for me, moments when things that have been hidden deep inside, have been slowly yanked from my life. Things such as; hidden insecurities, bitterness, unbeneficial relationships, deep desires; things that have been causing me to act out of character.
I didn’t see it until this morning, but those things were only hurting me. I received a message from someone that left me feeling so bitter, for it was picking at a sore spot in my life. I realized that God removes those things that are only hurting us, without even knowing it.
When it comes to things that we desire to keep, we become blinded to the fact that it is only causing harm.. and we wonder why we feel the way we feel every time we are around it, around them, etc.
That still small voice; our conscience tells us what is wrong, but we ignore. We care more about those things or the feelings of others, that we neglect our own wellbeing; sometimes or most of the time.
“With everything that I have encountered and have been through, I have grown to learn when it’s time to let go of things; people. It may take me awhile, but I don’t try to fight it, like I used to. I have learned to love and respect myself enough to start taking better care of myself, even if it means letting go of people, habits, things…”-Stephanie
When we find ourselves in these situations, where we are so focused on other things, we forget who we truly are and what we are meant to do. We get so lost chasing after things; people, that we forgot to seek Him.
When something is out of order, nothing goes right and things just seem to fall apart. How many times has that been true in my own life? Many times, more than I like to remember.
Last night I was walking into that pit. I was forgetting who I am, I was forgetting what I am capable of… I was just forgetting the important things. I was becoming so congested with lies and insecurities that I was losing desire for everything.
It was causing me to wander off course.
A Praying Spouse
I always give God thanks for my husband. The one who has been there for me through everything. He has seen the worst of me, yet chose to love me through it all. Through him, God spoke to me. He reminded me of who I am and what I capable of. Knowing that he prays for me is what strengthens me and keeps me protected.
Keeping things in my life that God has been trying to remove has caused a slight division, because of how it’s made me feel. I admit, that I have been putting things before my marriage and how they have made me feel… I have been taking it out on my husband.
I cannot stress enough about how holding on to things that we aren’t supposed to have can cause so much damage to our life and our relationships… especially when it’s a relationship with someone you’re not supposed to have.
Temporary vs Eternal
This is the reason we do not give up. Our human body is wearing out. But our spirits are getting stronger every day. The little troubles we suffer now for a short time are making us ready for the great things God is going to give us forever. We do not look at the things that can be seen. We look at the things that cannot be seen. The things that can be seen will come to an end. But the things that cannot be seen will last forever.- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
What more important to you? The for sure thing or the temporary; the thing that brings temporary excitement?
The things I have tried holding on to; I have grown to learn that they are not worth losing out on everything God has for me, for my marriage. I have had it revealed that what is awaiting for me, means so much more than what these temporary things can offer me.
‘No one loses out on learning how to hunt, for a temporary meal that only satisfies them for a short while, eventually they will grow hungry again.
It’s the same way with the things of this world and the things of God. This world offers only temporary things, while God offers things that will last and are beneficial; satisfying every single need.