You alone are my hope, the one I trust and have confidence in. In days of dread and anxiety, I turn to you; I find rest. I am planted deep in you. Coming my way, all things trying to knock me down, but you keep me steady and strong. Still standing, I am. -Heart of Grace
On Days of Dread
But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.-Jeremiah 17:7
It never fails. I can have good days, days where I feel confident, strong and thinking I can do anything. Then there are days like today, where I am feeling dread, anxious and like I want to hide. The more I step out of my comfort zone, the more I also want to hide. It’s like my way of saying… no more.
On days like today, I draw nearer to my Father. I seek His word, His comfort.
His Word, Poetry It Is
Through my walk with God, poetry has been my way of drawing closer to God. I have written out my feelings, thoughts, and everything that has been hidden. I have come to realize that His word too, is poetry. His ways of sharing what’s on His heart, secrets He longs to share with us.
I look deep within the words written and I can see the desire of those who were truly after the heart of God. Who sought Him in their most times of need. He comforted them. He disciplined them, He made them stronger; Strong enough to endure what they were facing.
Reading Jeremiah 17:5-8– reminded me of being connected to Him; the vine. Being deeply rooted in Him and how it keeps us strong no matter what comes our way. It showed me how much life we are given when we place our hope and trust in Him. It’s what I needed today.
Changes & Challenges
This past week has been a week of changes and challenges. I have been feeling challenged to step out of my comfort zone in ways that I never thought id be doing. It scares me, I dread it. I have even felt anxiety at the thought of what was being asked of me.
The changes I am currently facing, leave me feeling stronger, but at the same time, more vulnerable. But it’s in those places where I show my Faith and my trust in Him. I know that if I want to step into the bigger things that are meant for my life, I must first step up and step out.. where people can see me.
“All my life I have been in the background. I have been hidden by insecurity, by self doubt, by opinions of others… but God is trying to break me free from that. Showing me that my place isn’t “behind the scenes,” anymore.”-Stephanie
“You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts in under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your Heavenly Father.”-Matthew 5:14-16
When They See Me, They See Him
The more I rise to the surface, the more they will see Him. The more I do what I am no used to doing, the more they will see Him. For it has never been by my own strength, or choice. It’s all been because of my obedience to Him. I have found that His ways always yield blessings and more benefit, than me doing my own thing.
If it was up to me, I wouldn’t be doing half the things I have been. I wouldn’t speak in front of people, I wouldn’t be seen.
I have to remind myself, over and over, that I am no longer the scared little girl I once was. That I have not been given a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. Because to make a difference, you must first be bold and be brave.”-Stephanie
Be Bold. Be Brave
These words have been on my heart for almost a month. They have been replayed in my mind over and over, especially when I am about to do something I am afraid of doing. These words have reminded me of who I am and Who’s I am. It’s been the theme for my life this new year. It’s a season that I am, where I am being taken to new heights, a new level; in my personal and spiritual life.
I have had desires in my heart for years… but I feel Him asking me; “How are you going to get there and do what you desire to do if you have not been set free from fear?”
The answer is simple; I can’t. We will always feel afraid, but the freedom He talks about is having the courage to do it anyway and no longer letting thoughts hinder you. To no longer let what you see hinder you. To no longer let the opinions of others hinder you. That’s freedom, even when you feel fear.
I am getting there. Little by little, but I am getting there.