I woke up today feeling tired. My body didn’t want to get out of bed, sick I felt. I turned to You and you were there; already waiting for me You were. I sat comfortably at your feet and calm, relaxed and secure I felt. You’ve always been my safe place. I closed my eyes and all that I felt quickly faded away. My lips could not say a thing, but my heart called out to you. You know my thoughts, you know my feelings, you know all things even before I say a word. You comfort me in your arms, I am safe. I am safe to feel what I feel. I am safe to express what I express. I am safe to show you who I really am. I am safe. I need You today, I need You always. The day is gloomy, but I will rejoice. The day is gloomy, but my soul will be strengthened by your joy, for You have promised that your joy is my strength. -…Heart of Grace
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. -Matthew 11:28
It’s not very often that I wake up feeling the way I do today. Today, I set my alarm to wake up early, but of course all I did was snooze the alarm until I finally just turned it off. I stayed in bed, I feel asleep until I was finally awakened.
Waking up later than I actually planned made me feel like I have already wasted the day. In my mind I have it like this; Wake up early and I feel accomplished because things get done. Wake up a little later and I feel the day is wasted and I lack motivation to do anything.
The reason being, it takes me awhile to fully wake up and get going. So the earlier the better. I don’t know why I have this mentality. This past week, all I have been doing is thinking about how things will get done, I how will do this, how I would do that… My mind has been non stop.
There was a day that He really broke me and corrected my way of thinking in a certain area. He showed me where I have been wrong and how I have been depending more on my own abilities than in Him. Especially in the area of provision. It was like I had been trying to take care of myself, because I didn’t trust anybody else in that area.
I had realized the root of it.
My Will Not Be Done
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.-Proverbs 16:9
This is so fitting for me right now. It seems like every time I plan my day and write down the things I want to do, they never happen that way. God is such a wise Father that He interferes with our own plans, because He has something so much better.
But how often do we see it that way? How often do I see it that way? Not as much as I should, to be honest. I become frustrated, I become overwhelmed because things are not getting done. Sometimes all I can hear Him say is, “REST.”
My day didn’t start off the way I thought it would, neither has this year, but I know it’s for a reason.
I have come to realize that I have been in a season of fully trusting God, His ways and definitely His timing for everything. I admit that I am impatient and stress when I don’t see things when I need them. That’s when I try to figure things out on my own. I was like that yesterday.
The Pressure Build Up
I exploded on my husband yesterday. I manifested what my heart had been holding in. I lashed out in frustration and overwhelmed. We traveled to his appointment, in my heart I didn’t want to go. The thought of all the other appointments we would have to travel to just overwhelmed me even more. I was worried about gas, I was worried about so many things to the point where I felt the need to take up the burden and figure things out.
All it did was make me even more stressed and overwhelmed. I was beginning to question God, again. I broke down & I asked for forgiveness.
God has not let us down. He has been providing for us everything that we have been needing. He has even placed people in our life to bless us. The fact that I became that way, was the proof that I had pushed God to the side because I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it.
I am the last person who should try to take control of their own life. When I do things just go wrong and I am led astray. It seems like, since we have been home, I have reverted back to how I was. The comforts of home have gotten in the way. I don’t want to be like that.-Stephanie
I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.-Philippians 3:12-14
Perfect? No. Make mistakes? Always.
Each day is a new beginning, learning from yesterday helps prevent the same things in your today. The past is gone, there is a new day in front of you. Today I woke up feeling the aftermath of what happened yesterday, but I have chosen to press forward and no longer look behind me. God has something for us. The key is trusting His timing and allowing Him be the guide of our lives.
The love of anything can come between you and what He has for you. When we take up that burden of trying to figure things out, we are saying to Him that we do not trust Him and that we can do a better job at it… that’s a lie.
I have known and seen that He does a better job for me and my marriage, than I ever could. Why is it hard to trust him in this? Taking care of me and what I need. I guess it’s been my “love.”
“It’s all about order. Placing God as the head of your life, things falling into place and begin to flow as they were meant to.”-Stephanie