I said goodbye to another year. A year filled with joy, but also filled with pain, sorrow and sadness. A year that left me wanting more, more of You. I walked that road of self discovery, brokenness, only to find myself stronger. I am brand new, I am not the same. I stood tall until the end of year. The clock counted down and struck midnight, I couldn’t hold back the tears. We walked into victory. We walked into new beginnings, into new identities. We left behind the sorrow, to only embrace the joy. We left behind the old, to embrace the new. Tears ran down my face, gratitude filled my heart; tightly I held the man You have given me. We are walking out of the desert, into our promised land. I only have You to thank for that. This is my year. This is our year. This is the year for abundance and restoration.-…Heart of Grace
Words cannot express my excitement for this new year. I literally feel like I stepped into something brand new. Like an old garment has been taken off and replaced with a brand new one; a clean one.
He will provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.- Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)
Last year was a year that challenged me the most and really tested my faith. I found myself in situations that pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and led me to jump in without knowing what would come of it. My faith definitely grew and my trust in God has grown. From this, I cannot go back. For I have seen how real He is.
Last night, as we celebrated with our Spiritual Family, I felt so happy and content. I had one of the best times. The interaction, the freedom I now have to be around people… is a great feeling. I have really grown in that area of my life. I am no longer closed off, for I have learned to open myself up, but at the same time guard my heart. I have learned to allow people into my life, because I have wholeheartedly allowed God in first. Learning to trust Him and the people He’s placed in my life has been liberating. I have learned to depend on their support, prayers and company. I broke free from the shell that kept them away and me locked alone.
I walked into 2018: mature, confident, strong and ready.- Stephanie
I left It All Behind
The last months of 2017, were some of the toughest ones, but that’s when I decided to jump in deeper into God. I jumped like a child who is assured that their father will catch them. I was caught.
I am leaving behind the past.
I am leaving behind the struggles.
I am leaving behind the insecurities and doubt.
I am leaving behind guilt and shame.
I am embracing this new life with my God and my husband.
God Has Restored
Through all that we have been through, God has restored something that I didn’t really know needed restoration, until all this happened with my husband’s health. I have a love for him that I didn’t have before. I have this closeness with my husband that I didn’t have before. It’s all because of God. It’s his love that I now have in my heart for my husband. I was corrected, my mind was renewed and my eyes were opened, allowing me to see the man that God has blessed me with.
This journey has been an exciting one, as well as a challenging one, but nonetheless it has been the most rewarding one.
November 22, 17-the say he had surgery on his heart. He has the LVAD implanted into his heart. That day as we sat in the waiting room, I felt nothing but peace as God assured me that things were ok. The surgery took four and half hours. We waited about an hour to hear from the Dr. When I got the phone call, I felt a little anxious, as I wanted to hear that things were ok, already. The Dr. had told me that everything had gone very well, just as expected. My heart rejoiced and I immediately told God, “thank you.”
He stayed in ICU for about a week then a couple more weeks in the hospital. They have been so amazed at how quickly he was starting to recover. (It’s a God thing.)
His life was restored through this surgery. God chose to bring healing to his life in this way. Until God completely heals his heart, my husband has to carry around that pack. It’s connected to his heart and that pack is acting as his heart. I mean, it’s pumping for his heart, allowing it to rest. So we constantly have to make sure he is connected to power. Yes, it has been overwhelming for him, but I have told him it’s a small sacrifice so that he could be alive and feel as good as he does. He sleeps with it. He walks with it. He showers with it. It’s temporarily a part of him.
Seeing him so happy and enjoying life brings me so much happiness. I honestly feel like I have my husband back. The husband I have always desired. He amazes me, daily. I see him pushing hard to recover and I see how dedicated to doing so. It inspires me
What he lost passion for, he is now gaining it back, and that’s playing guitar. He was born to worship God. Before the surgery, his health was taking a tole on him to the point where he couldn’t play or lacked the desire to do so. I am so grateful that he plays again, it makes my heart happy. I believe that’s what he is meant to do. (He loves his Christmas gift. We named it Soul Fire. ) Only greater things are ahead.
This Is Us
The last selfie of 2017. My best friend. My love. My everything. ❤
I am excited to see what God has for us this year and how much more we will be growing together and individually. -Stephanie
God chooses to use the toughest parts of your life; marriage, so that He can be glorified by how strong he’s kept you, by how much your faith has grown, by how high you can lift your hands in praise in the middle of the storm, by continuing to walk when the enemy has tried to knock you down . -Stephanie