Feeling emotional and wide awake, I come to you. I hear you calling me, out of bed I am. I desire to be with you, to hear your voice and see where you’re leading me to. There is a new season around me, inside me. It’s something I cannot comprehend, but I know in the right time I will. You’re calling me; with all my heart I say, “Here I am.” Expanding my horizons You are; bringing me out of the shell I had wasted so much time in. You’ve opened doors I never imagined. I am overwhelmed by You. Lord, you’ve seen all, you know all. I have recognized it’s because of you, I have endured and made it through. Your unfailing love, no one can take that revelation, that conviction away from me. For I have experienced it many times; you’ve made your love known to me. You Love Me.- …The Heart of Grace

Wide Awake

Lately I have been spending more time with God in prayer and study time. I have been learning so much about who I am in Him and how much His love is true, in my life. With every obstacle, every situation has come His unfailing love.

The love that never fails. The love that is always there, when nothing or no one else is. He is love. In this season I have been in with my husband, all I could feel is His love and support. Things have been falling into place so effortlessly. It’s as if we are walking and things are just falling into place as we continue forward in the way God has for us.

We have been trusting God through this entire journey. Not once have we, or have I doubted Him, on the contrary. I have learned to step deeper into His truth, his word. I have learned to trust Him like never before, and He has not let me down. Trusting wholeheartedly in God has opened many doors and has set so many things into place. We are being taken care of by our good, good Father.

This New Year

In this new year, I believe with all my heart that it will not be like any other year. It will be a year of restoration, a year where God will finally make all things new. In this case, restore what the enemy has stolen from my marriage; what the enemy has stolen from my husband.

Intimacy. Health. Determination. Purpose. Life. 

We have been faithful, acknowledgment from God himself. We have received a word from Him telling us that a lot of things are about to change, and we believe it. More than ever, we are determined to stand strong together and walk into the new things God has in store for us. (This year of restoration, I believe is for ALL who have been faithful and who have been trusting in Him, especially through the difficult times.)

What wins the battles is our obedience to Him. 

What Was Once Lost…

Intimacy. God has begun restoring that area in my marriage. Not only sexually, but also reconnecting me with my husband and him with me. We have this new affection for each other that had been lost in everything that has happened with his health & the selfishness I had carried in my heart during that time.

These past few weeks, God has been correcting, removing things and remolding me, as well as him. Our minds are not like they were. Our eyes are not seeing the bad like before. We have this joy in our hearts that has given us the strength to fight this good fight, together. I don’t feel alone anymore. I have the spiritual support from my husband, because I know he is reconnected to God; now more than ever. We are walking in order.

God blesses when things are in His order. 

His Joy Has Been My Strength
The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.-Psalm 28:7

It’s something I cannot explain, for it’s something that is meant to be experienced. It’s a peace in the middle of the storm that assures you that everything will be ok, when all that is around you is a chaotic mess. It’s being able to stand tall when everything or everyone around you is trying to pull you down. It’s being able to say to God, “I love you and I trust you,” when all your flesh wants to do is scream out, “I give up!” It’s being able to sing songs of praise; gratitude to Him when all you want to do is cry and break down in defeat.

Many times have I wanted to walk away, not being able to handle the pressure. Not wanting to deal with the inconveniences of the problems. It was because I didn’t know how to deal with those things. Though I have wanted to walk away so many times, it has been God’s love that has kept me where I am . It’s been His love for me that has disciplined me and corrected me. It’s His love for me that kept me from falling into the pit that was waiting for me the moment I decided to walk away. It was Him, He is love. 

I Am Not The Same

It’s evident in my face. It’s evident in my speech. It’s evident in how I now carry myself. I know who I am and whos I am. I know who is for me and not against me. I know who has watched out for me and my husband; our marriage this entire time. The things we have experienced and witnessed, nothing or no one can tell me that God isn’t real, because only He could have set all those things in place, protected us from harm and opened doors that were desperately needed.

“I have made Him a promise, I will not stay silent and keep to myself all that He has done us, me, in my marriage; in my husband’s life. These things are too great to keep to myself. What God has done for us, He desires to do for everyone else, everyone who will humble themselves and acknowledge that they need Him, His help.”-Stephanie


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s