There are days, like today, that I find myself struggling to hold on to you. I am overwhelmed with so many emotions. I feel sadness, I feel alone, I feel like I am slipping away. In the morning I rose, in my heart a song. My heart, my soul could not rest until I played it, and again. My many mistakes cause me to push myself further away from you. Though you constantly remind me of your unfailing love and amazing grace, I still feel ashamed. Distorting the image of how you see me, I start to feel unworthy. I just fall on my knees, in surrender. My heart cries out to you, ‘I need you.’- …Heart of Grace
It is one of those days, where I wake up and a certain song is playing in my mind. I cannot rest, or I do not feel right unless I listen to it. I have learned that it’s God’s way of comforting me, or simply reminding me that He is thinking of me and wants me to acknowledge Him.
The days have seemed so long. It seems like, as the days go by, further away I become. So many things happening, life is happening. Struggles occur, but the last thing I do is run to the one who can bring me peace.
Ever done something that leaves you feeling so unworthy, ashamed, making you want to hide?
I have, many times. I beat myself up about it for awhile. I try to “hide” from God, I try to isolate myself from everybody. I am afraid of them seeing me in my error. As though they might “judge” me or think less of me.
When an enemy desires to strike you down, they will always try to catch you alone, not when you’re surrounded by people who love you. So what better way to do that, than with isolation. -Stephanie
I have been here before, in a place of isolation, surrounded by a wall that I, myself have built up. I thought it was my way of protecting myself, but then I realized it was actually locking me inside, alone with the one that torments, the one that strikes the mind with lies.
Isolation is never a good thing. While we think we are trying to protect ourselves, what we are actually doing is making ourselves even more vulnerable to what is already tormenting us; shame, guilt, depression, sadness…etc. Those are enemies, the very things that try to catch us alone. I have struggled for years with these, and it wasn’t until I realized what I was doing that I broke free from those walls of isolation.
I realized there was a God who loved me regardless of what I have done. There were people there for me, who saw me for me, not the things I have done. That’s the power of love. Real love.
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.-Ecclesiastes 4:12
If you struggle with isolation, please know that you’re not alone. There are people who understand what you’re going through, people who have been where you are. There is a God who sees all and knows your deepest cries, who has seen ever single tear. He extends his hand to lift you up, out of those walls of isolation.
You are courageous. You are brave. You are loved. You are more than what you feel, or think. You’re beautiful. You are cherished. You are a warrior.
Remember that, the next time the enemy tries to isolate you. It cannot mess with someone who knows who they are and what they are capable of. – Stephanie ❤